ﺕ I'M THAT OBSESSED!
So, I just finished reading "Inside the Outside" by Martin Lastrapes. It was FREAKING AMAZING! I just had to have Martin Lastrapes connected to me in some way... I have an obsessive personality, so I get that way. Anyway, I brought him here to talk to you because I wanted to share my joy with you all.
Let me untie him real quick...he can get a bit difficult.
Here is Martin:
Hello out there. I don’t know if anybody is reading this, but, if you are, can you please help me? My name is Martin Lastrapes and I am currently being held hostage on this blog. I’m the author of Inside the Outside and I was invited to write a guest post here, wherever here is. Frankly, I don’t know where I am right now, but, somehow, I’ve been stuffed into somebody’s computer. My captor refuses to reveal their identity to me. Sometimes they talk to me. I’m so hungry, but I don’t want to eat monkey brains. Oh no, I think they’re back! Please, if anybody is out—
Hello. My name is Martin Lastrapes and it is my pleasure to be here completely by my own free will. Nobody has kidnapped me and stuffed me into their computer. Also, nobody has threatened to turn me into Sustenance Portions if I don’t write wonderful things about their blog. Whichever blog I’m currently not being held hostage on is the most wonderful blog I have ever not been forced—
Hello. Seriously, somebody please hel—
Hello. My novel, Inside the Outside, is about a teenage girl named Timber Marlow who grows up as a cannibal within a cult tucked away in the
San Bernardino Mountains. When Timber gets a little too curious for her own good and decides to see what world exists in the Outside, she sets off a domino of events that ultimately reveal to her some unsettling truths about the world around her and the integral role she plays in it all. Is that good? What else am I supposed to write here you crazy—
Hello. Some people have wondered why I decided to write about cannibalism. My first exposure to cannibalism came when I was about seven years old and my godfather, Willard E. Pugh, starred in the Wes Craven horror film The Hills Have Eyes: Part II. Many years later, when I was a college student, I decided to become a vegetarian. Part of the reason for this was my exposure to literature about farm animals and how, in many instances, they live very tortured lives, before being killed in inhumane ways. This information began merging itself with my fascination with cannibalism and I began to imagine a relatively civilized society where people systematically ate each other. This idea eventually evolved into what would become the core of my debut novel, Inside the Outside. Can I go now, you goddamned maniac? Seriously, what do you want fro—
Hello. Some people who have wonderful blogs and would never hold me hostage have wondered how I thought up the character of Timber Marlow. The first seedlings for Timber Marlow were born when I saw a documentary on HBO about “The Iceman” Richard Kuklinski who was a contract killer for the mafia. For all the horrible killings that he did, during the documentary Kuklinski comes off as articulate and even sort of charming. He lulls you into a false sense of security and you almost forget that he is a cruel and dangerous person. I decided that I wanted to create a killer with similar qualities, so my initial motivation for Timber was to create a serial killer that readers would also find charming. But, as she evolved, I realized that Timber wasn’t a serial killer at all. She killed because she grew up in an environment where killing was presented as a normal part of life. Okay, so, seriously, I miss my family. Can I please go now? I swear I won’t tell anybody where—
Hello. In the time I've spent not being hostage, I sometimes feel compelled, completely of my own free will, to talk about my next project, which is a vampire novel. The story is much lighter than Inside the Outside, though it still has plenty of horror and suspense. There is a love story at its core, because my favorite vampire stories are the ones that explore the tortured romantic relationships between humans and vampires. It's also a very self-aware vampire novel, which, I suppose you could say is postmodern in nature. I definitely plan on paying homage to many of the traditional conventions of vampire lore, while also adding a few original wrinkles of my own. I also have a few tricks up my sleeve that I'm pretty confident nobody has tried before. That's about all I can say for now. So, um...now can I go?
Really?! You’re not just messing with me, are you?
Oh, freedom, freedom! Sweet, sweet, freed—
Okay, I'm back...that was AWESOME!
Now that Martin Lastrapes has spoken, I can let him go. But first, I want to show you something cool. I'll always have a piece of Martin with me cuz I took a finger!
He said it was okay as long as I let him go. Isn't that WICKED?!
Click here to see me EAT BRAINS!
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Everyone grab a copy of Inside the Outside by Martin Lastrapes!
You will LOVE it!